March 13, 2025 by
Children are naturally observant, and when a loved one begins showing signs of dementia, they may have a lot of questions. “Why does Grandma forget my name?” “Why does Grandpa keep asking me the same thing?” “Did I do something wrong?” As a parent, you might not always have immediate answers, but the most important thing is to create an open, reassuring space for discussion when kids have questions about dementia.
Why Talking About Dementia Matters
Avoiding the subject won’t keep children from noticing the changes in their loved one’s behavior. In fact, when children don’t receive clear explanations, they may feel anxious, confused, or even think they are somehow responsible. Open and honest conversations help them understand the situation and reinforce that their family member still loves them, even if their memory and behavior have changed.
Age-Appropriate Ways to Explain Dementia
How you explain dementia should be tailored to a child’s age and comprehension level. Keeping explanations clear and relatable makes it easier for them to grasp.
- For young children: Use simple metaphors to illustrate the concept. You might say, “Grandpa’s brain is like a big puzzle, but some pieces are missing, which makes it harder for him to remember things.”
- For older children and teens: Offer more factual details while keeping the tone compassionate. You could explain, “Grandma has an illness that affects how her brain works. She may forget things or become confused, but it’s not because she doesn’t care about you.”
- For all ages: Reassure them that dementia isn’t contagious, that they are not responsible for the changes, and that their loved one still values their presence, even if they express it differently.
Encouraging Connection and Meaningful Interactions
Spending time with a loved one who has dementia may feel unfamiliar at first, but fostering positive interactions can help both the child and the person with dementia feel comfortable. Encourage simple and low-pressure activities, such as:
- Playing familiar music they both enjoy
- Looking through old photo albums together
- Watching a favorite movie or TV show
- Sharing a snack or meal
- Engaging in an easy craft or hands-on activity
It’s important to let children know that it’s okay if their loved one repeats stories or forgets their name. What matters most is the quality of the time spent together, not the accuracy of memories.
Helping Children Cope with Their Feelings
Seeing a loved one change due to dementia can bring out a mix of emotions in children. They might feel sadness, frustration, embarrassment, or even fear. Make sure they have a safe space to express their thoughts and emotions without judgment. Some ways to help them process their feelings include:
- Encouraging them to ask questions
- Letting them talk openly about their emotions
- Suggesting they write, draw, or journal about their experiences
- Reassuring them that even though dementia changes a person’s memory, it doesn’t erase love and connection
Remind children that their feelings are valid and that it’s okay to feel sad or confused. Providing a supportive environment will help them navigate these changes with more understanding and resilience.
How Our Dementia Care Team Can Support Your Family
If dementia is affecting your family, you don’t have to face it alone. Our specialized dementia caregivers are trained to provide compassionate, experienced care that makes life more comfortable for individuals with dementia and their loved ones. Whether you need guidance, additional support, or full-time in-home care, we are here to help.
For more information on dementia care services in Syracuse, Camillus, Clay, or anywhere in Central New York, call us at (315) 579-HOME (4663). We are ready to assist you in providing the best care possible for your loved one.