July 15, 2025 by
No one teaches you how to do this.
You try to follow your instincts. You read a few articles. You tell yourself to stay patient, stay calm. But Alzheimer’s doesn’t operate by any familiar rules. What made sense last week suddenly doesn’t work today. There’s good news though! With a few small shifts, you can bring more calm, clarity, and connection into each day.
Start by avoiding these six common missteps and implementing the recommended Alzheimer’s care tips instead:
1. Trying to reason with the disease
You might find yourself saying things like, “We already ate,” or “That didn’t happen.” It’s a natural response. But Alzheimer’s changes how the brain understands reality. Pushing back with logic often creates more fear and frustration.
Try this instead: Meet the person where they are. If they’re worried about catching a train that no longer runs, talk about the journey, not the schedule.
2. Correcting the little things
Maybe they call you by the wrong name. Or they insist it’s Sunday when it’s Wednesday. You want to help them stay oriented, but frequent corrections can feel like criticism.
Try this instead: Focus on the emotional connection. If a memory is wrong but brings them comfort, let it be.
3. Overloading them with steps
Simple tasks can quickly feel overwhelming when too much is said at once. “Get your shoes, grab your jacket, and let’s go outside” can sound like static.
Try this instead: Break it down. One direction at a time. Keep your voice calm and unrushed. Give them time to process.
4. Taking changes personally
You might be met with anger, suspicion, or distance. It’s painful, especially if the relationship was once close. But these behaviors aren’t about you; they’re symptoms of a brain under stress.
Try this instead: Remind yourself that their heart is still there. Your presence matters, even when it’s not recognized in the same way.
5. Talking around them instead of to them
When words don’t come easily, it’s tempting to start making decisions or answering for them. But people with Alzheimer’s still pick up on tone, energy, and respect.
Try this instead: Speak directly. Ask simple questions. Offer eye contact. Include them, even if responses are limited or delayed.
6. Ignoring your own exhaustion
It’s easy to go into autopilot: checking off tasks, putting out fires, keeping everything afloat. But caregiving without rest eventually takes a toll on your health, your emotions, and your relationships.
Try this instead: Give yourself permission to rest. Ask for help before you’re at your limit. Look into home care or respite care, even part-time. You’re allowed to need support too.
There’s No Single Right Way to Do This
Some days will go smoothly. Others will stretch your patience thin. That’s normal. Alzheimer’s care is full of trial and error, small victories, and deep emotional labor.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up with compassion, for the person you’re caring for, and for yourself.
When It Feels Like Too Much, We’re Here to Help
At Home Independent Living, providea Alzheimer’s care that brings structure and peace to the day, while giving family caregivers space to breathe. Our dementia care team is highly trained and skilled in bringing creative solutions to challenging situations. We’re supporting families across Camillus, Syracuse, Salina, and throughout Central New York, and we’re here for you, too.
Call us at (315) 579-HOME (4663) to find the support you’ve been needing.