January 18, 2018 by
Do you recall how hard it could be when you were young to learn the concept of sharing with your brothers and sisters? Even though the importance of thinking about others’ feelings, and also being fair, was impressed upon us early on, it can still be a hurdle to lessen sibling squabbles when it comes to complicated decisions we confront in adulthood – such as the right way to fairly divide caregiving requirements for our aging parents.
Gregory French, president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, points out, “What a family member considers ‘fair’ is very much dictated from that family member’s perspective…there’s a lot of family baggage that comes out, like: ‘Mom paid for your MBA, and she didn’t do that for me.’”
These tips can help family members achieve an agreement on the most reasonable division of care for a senior loved one:
- Recruit the aid of a mediator. Sitting down with the help of a trusted third party professional, like an attorney or financial planner with a specialty in elder issues, could go a long way towards attempting to keep the conversation on track and continuing to move forward to the most useful resolution.
- Give some thought to hands-on caregiving assistance vs. expenses. Dividing up caregiving duties fairly ought to include a dialogue on how much time each sibling can dedicate to supplying care in the home, and how much financial care can be contributed. For instance, a sibling dwelling in close proximity to the senior may put in more time but lower financial help when compared with someone who resides in another state.
- Record the discussion. Putting everything in writing ensures that everyone is on the same page, and allows the opportunity to go back and go over what was decided upon later if a disagreement should arise.
Most importantly, agree to set aside any lingering childhood dynamics in order to really come together to provide the highest quality of caregiving possible.
At Home Independent Living helps families maintain a healthy life balance through the professional in-home care services for aging adults that provide families with a secure feeling in knowing their loved one is in the best of hands. Partnering with a top rated home care Syracuse NY provider also means that family members can spend more quality time together, while our properly trained and knowledgeable care providers help with several of the more everyday elements of care, such as housekeeping, doing the laundry, meal preparation, running errands like buying groceries and picking up prescriptions, and much more. Call us at 315.579.HOME for details.